For The Bride

Below are some of our favorite ideas for the bride - we'll be adding more ideas soon.

The first step in planning a wedding is to set the wedding date. This can be one of the most frustrating aspects of the wedding planning process. You must consider work and/or school schedules, holidays and seasons. For example you must be able to take time off from work or school for the honeymoon. You should check with your employers vacation policy before you select a date.

Having your wedding on or near a holiday or special occasion can also cause problems for guests. They may find it difficult to attend because of prior family and social obligations. In addition, it may be difficult to find an officiant to perform the service. On the other hand, three-day weekends could be ideal for out-of-town guests.

Saturday is the most popular day of the week for weddings because it is convenient for out-of-own guests and it gives everyone in the wedding more time to prepare. The problem is that many churches and reception locations are usually booked well in advance so you must plan ahead for a Saturday wedding. In addition, Saturday weddings generally cost more, so you may want to choose to have your wedding on Friday night or Sunday afternoon to save money. Many churches, reception halls, caterers, and photographers will agree to charge less for these less popular wedding days.

You must also choose the time of day for your wedding. You should also look at your budget when choosing the time of day. Serving lunch or dinner for your guests can get quite expensive. At certain times of the day or evening you can serve hor d'oevres and save some money on catering.

Your Wedding Gifts
One of the best things about getting married is all the wonderful wedding gifts you will receive. From the minute you get engaged, tokens of congratulations will be offered until well after your wedding day. But being the recipient of so many gifts comes with obligations as well. Every gift giver deserves a prompt, handwritten thank-you note, and there are many courtesies for dealing with unwanted or damaged gifts you need to be aware of. Following are guidelines to being a gracious recipient.

The Bridal Registry
The bridal gift registry has become one of the greatest inventions, for both the bride and groom-to-be and guests alike. Available through most major department stores nationwide, as well as many smaller specialty stores, mail order catalogs, and web sites, the wedding gift registry is a computerized listing of all your gift selections in every category.

Guests who are informed by invitations or word of mouth, can then call or stop by the store and select a wedding gift from your list that you're sure to like.

Be sure to register as far in advance of your wedding as possible (although not more than 9 months in advance, as most stores stock will change), and include items in a variety of price ranges to suit everyone's budget. Take your fiancé with you also, so that he has some say in what he'll live with. Although most men say they are not interested in going along, most get caught up in the fun of choosing gifts when they get to the store.

One of the great benefits of a registry is that you will avoid receiving duplicate gifts since the items are checked off on your list as they're purchased. Occasionally however, errors are made and you will end up with two of the same item. If you do receive duplicate gifts, simply contact the registry directly and have it replaced with something of equal value on your list, or perhaps even receive a cash refund to do with as you please. Either way, there is no need to inform the gift giver. Simply thank them and let the error go undisclosed. Likewise, should you receive a damaged gift, you can make arrangements to have it replaced by the store.

Eventually every couple is bound to receive a wedding gift they don't want or need. You should be tactful when handling such circumstances. Never tell a gift giver you didn't like the selection, if it's clear where the gift came from, simply arrange to exchange the gift on your own.

Thank-You Notes
Every engagement, shower, and wedding gift deserves a prompt hand-written thank-you note. Traditionally, thank-you notes for engagement and shower gifts should be mailed within two or three weeks of receiving them. Early wedding gifts should be acknowledged before the wedding day. All remaining thank-you notes should be sent within three months after the wedding. Not only do you show good manners by responding promptly; it also keeps the thank-you notes from piling up.

Tip: Keeping a record of the gifts you receive will help tremendously when
sending your thank-you notes. You can refer to your record as you write the thank-you notes, since proper etiquette dictates that you describe each gift in the thank-you note.

The time you spend planning your wedding will be filled with tomorrow's memories. From deciding on the color of your bridesmaids' dresses to the look on your face as you stumble upon your surprise shower, these are the moments you'll remember time and time again. So it's only fitting that the attendants by your side be your most treasured friends and relatives.

Honor Attendants
The maid or matron of honor and the best man, also known as the honor attendants. In the past, it was often expected that engaged couples would include family members in their wedding parties. Today though, they're more inclined to base their decision on close friendships. Traditionally, the sister closest in age to the bride serves as the maid or matron of honor. If the bride has more than one sister, she may ask them all to be honor attendants. If there are two, one can be maid of honor and the other matron of honor, or they may share a title. If the bride does not have a sister, she may ask a close friend, cousin, or aunt. In an especially lovely gesture, some brides ask their mothers, stepmothers, or grandmothers. The groom typically asks the brother closest to him in age to serve as his best man, but he can also ask more than one brother, or choose a close friend, cousin, or uncle, or his father, stepfather, or grandfather. A bride who is especially close to a brother or male friend may choose a man as her honor attendant; the same may hold true for a groom who wants to include a close female relative or friend.

Bridesmaids and Groomsmen
The obvious choices for bridesmaids and groomsmen are close relatives and friends, but there are others who should be considered. Although certainly not a requirement, it is fitting for the bride to include the groom's sisters and for the groom to include the bride's brothers. It is also both thoughtful and diplomatic to invite future sisters- and brothers-in-law to participate as members of the wedding party or in other special roles, such as performing a reading or holding a pole of the huppa, or wedding canopy.

Children
A girl between 3 and 7 years of age will surely be thrilled in being a flower girl, and a boy of that age will make an adorable ring bearer. Youngsters from 8 to 15 may serve as junior bridesmaids or groomsmen. At a formal wedding, two young children may act as pages, holding the bride's train as she walks down the aisle. And children between 9 and 12 may serve as candle lighters. There is no limit to the number of young attendants, but typically these roles are reserved for relatives and the children of especially close friends.

Number of Attendants
If you're looking for concrete numbers, there is one helpful guideline to follow. When groomsmen act as ushers, the preferred ratio is one for every fifty guests. Many couples will choose the number of bridesmaids accordingly-for symmetry at the altar and in photographs-but the number of bridesmaids and groomsmen need not match. The extra men or women may walk down the aisle alone or in pairs, or one groomsman may escort two bridesmaids, or two groomsmen one bridesmaid. In this case, it's important to ensure that the aisle is wide enough to accommodate a trio.

For a small, intimate gathering, one or two attendants on each side may be just right. There may be only a best man and a maid or matron of honor, or no wedding party all-just the bride and groom walking down the aisle arm in arm. For a larger, more elaborate celebration, a couple will typically want to be surrounded by a big group, in keeping with the pomp and circumstance of the occasion. Four to six on each side is common, but couples are still known to have as many as twelve bridesmaids and twelve groomsmen.

Some couples have their engagement and wedding announced in the local
newspaper. These announcements let everyone know about your news and are a great addition to your scrapbook.

Most local publications do not charge members of their community for these types of announcements. However, some large publications charge a fee, because of the large circulation and vast number of requests.

Engagement Announcements
Engagement announcements are usually put in the paper by the bride's parents or immediate family to announce their happiness to the community. Some older couples put their announcement in the paper themselves. And, some couples choose to announce their engagement in a more private and personal way - such as word-of-mouth or an engagement party.

Engagement announcements usually appear in the newspaper two to three months before the wedding date. However, they may appear up to a year before or even a few days before. Circumstances and personal preference prevail here.

The bride's family should ask the groom's family if they would like to have an engagement announcement appear in their local paper also. It is the bride's parents (or the bride's) responsibility to send the same announcement to the groom's parents' newspaper of choice.

When submitting your announcement to the newspaper, make sure that you type the information, otherwise there's a chance that your handwriting could be misread and the information published incorrectly.

Announcements should include the following. The full names of you and your fiancé; the names of each set of parents; the city and state in which the wedding will be held (if it will take place in a different location from which the announcement is being published), and the date of the wedding. If you wish, you can also add information about your education and careers.

Many papers will publish an engagement photo as well. While engagement photos traditionally featured only the bride-to-be, more and more newspapers are publishing photos of the couple, so inquire about your options. Also, photos are seldom returned, so don't submit the only copy of your favorite picture.